Congratulations on the Oscar, Jared Leto… Whoever You Are…

Mar 03, 2014 1:13 AM  By

This may sound like something I’m making up… But I have never seen Jared Leto act. Nope, never saw a single movie or show he’s in, and I probably couldn’t tell you anything about the band he’s in.

And I’m getting hell for it on Facebook. Really.

How dare I say I never saw “Fight Club,” or “Requiem for a Dream.” For that matter, how come I didn’t go see “Dallas Buyers Club?” why did I never watch “My So Called Life?”

It’s not possible that I’ve never heard of 30 Seconds to Mars… Or is it, since I never heard of them until tonight.

The humanity!

Anyway, back to Jared Leto, the actor. Yes, it is true. I have never seen Jared Leto act. I don’t go to a lot of movies. I barely even watch them on demand in the comfort of my home.

Maybe I just can’t sit still for two straight hours. Have you ever been to a baseball game with me? Every inning, I’m up to grab a soda or a hot dog, to take a lap around the ballpark, to check out the view from another seat.

DVR? Nope. It’s loaded with Disney Jr. Shows, Nick Jr., Sprout, and everything else my 3-and-a-half year old son “needs” to watch.

So what do I watch? The news… And sitcoms. The day I discovered my U-Verse package included several episodes of “What’s Happening!!” in the iPad app, I was hooked.

So, anyway, congratulations to Jared Leto, whoever he is, on winning the Oscar. And I’m sorry I’m the last person on Earth to see you act.

  • Tim Goral

    Make that second to last.