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Grin and bear it

You know you'd better dial the partying down a notch this year if you received one of Vermont Teddy Bear Co.'s new offerings as a Secret Santa gift. The Holiday Party Animal bears a distinct resemblance to the life of the office party: Not only does the tipsy teddy don a red lampshade and tote a martini glass, but it's also holding a photocopy of its “bear butt.” Treading further into the waters of bad taste, the Shelburne, VT-based marketer on Dec. 1 launched CoWorkersGoneWild.com to promote the boorish bear; the site encouraged people to post their wildest office party photos, videos, or stories through Christmas, offering daily prizes for the best — or perhaps worst — post. While embear-assing the office overimbiber is always fun, a $69.95 stuffed animal is a kind of expensive way to go about it. We find that Polaroids work just as well.

Queer eye for the office sty

Despite our best intentions, we've found that we can't be bothered to try to get into shape for 2006, but Delray Beach, FL-based office supplies giant Office Depot has come up with a fitness plan that doesn't involve diet or exercise. “The Office Depot Five-Day Office Makeover Plan,” a new office fitness regimen developed in conjunction with Office Depot professional organizer/author Stephanie Winston, promises to “help business professionals achieve dramatic results — slimming down their piles, increasing their file-finding flexibility, and toning up their organizational muscle — in just 30 minutes a day for five days.” The free service, available on the Office Depot Website, aims to enable small businesses to take control of their work life by organizing their offices to reach maximum productivity with minimal stress. A guide takes professionals through a five-day workweek by offering one “to-do” task a day and suggesting tactics for avoiding potential productivity perils. It also outlines Winston's top product recommendations for achieving “organizational wellness.” We're not sure what organizational wellness is, but judging from the state of our workspace, we probably don't have it. So we'll happily sign up for an office overhaul — and then get back to our coffee and donuts.