I rented this movie expecting it to actually be about shipping. Boy, was I ever wrong! This was a real disappointment, and I can’t understand why they would release it with such a clearly misleading title. Apparently, it’s based on a book by somebody named E. Annie Proulx, and I have a feeling the book wasn’t any better. This Annie Proulx, whoever she is, reminds me of my well-fed ex-wife, who was always involved in a game of one-upsmanship. Once, she took a trip without me, and called soon after she was airborne, expressly for the purpose of rubbing it in my face. After she left — went down the road, way far away from here — there were a lot of things I couldn’t afford, so I consolidated all my debts (after listing them on a big yellow pad) and told her she could go to g-d h-l (sorry, can’t use those words in a family magazine). I even had to sell my good Kenwood stereo, and the custom cabinet my friend Peter built. But anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah — the only way this movie could be worse is if it starred Winona Ryder. If you rent it, don’t hold onto it for a second day. Don’t even keep it overnight. — Jimmy “Mack” Navistar
Can you spot all the shipping-related references hidden in this review? Tell us what they are and win a fabulous prize!