Neiman Marcus Last Month Revealed its Christmas Book, signifying a return to extravagance (not that extravagance ever really went away for the high-end retailer). We know, we are not the target market for such goods (sigh). But it makes us feel better about ourselves to poke fun at them. Here’s what we won’t be finding under our Christmas tree this year:
His & Hers MetroShip Luxury Houseboat, $250,000
We thought “his & hers” meant you each get one; but seems you have to share one houseboat — ripoff! So it has a “roomy master suite with a luxury W Hotel bed.” We’d rather stay at an actual W hotel and get room and maid service, thank you.
Edible Gingerbread Playhouse by Dylan’s Candy Bar, $15,000
A life-size, edible gingerbread house made of 381 lbs. of gourmet gingerbread and 517 lbs. of icing, festooned with giant cookies, lollipops, mints and gumdrops. A monument to our overindulged — and overweight — youth population.
Tory Burch Family Chariot Electric Tricycle, $4,500
The only thing more embarrassing than being seen riding this thing is being seen in one of the $25,000 cupcake cars Neiman’s was peddling last year.
Dale Chihuly Pool Sculpture Installation, $1.5 million
This glass artwork is meant for the bottom of a swimming pool and we don’t have a pool, so we’re out. Besides, we see Chihuly’s work all the time — the local casino has one of his sculptures, and we’re there a lot (which is maybe why we don’t have the money for a pool).